Xixi strikes again

Being a parent is a messy job. Some days it is messier than others. I have said this before, I didn't realize motherhood entailed dealing with so much fecal material. And pee! Pee and poop, like, everyday. Kids are worse than puppies. I tell no lies. I have a daughter who is fascinated by her own poo. I don't know what it is but she has stuck her hand in the back of her diaper one too many times for my taste.

It is usually when she is in her playpen. I know, I know, she is already two years old. She is too big for a crib or playpen. But excuse the hell outta me...cribs and playpens a.k.a Lockdown, well, they are just beautiful things. How else can I get a moment of peace without Xixi digging snacks out of the trash or eating toothpaste or breaking every single one of my lipliners and eyeshadows?

Sometimes, she wakes up and doesn't bother to let anyone know. She knows how to jump out when she wants to. She knows how to open doors, too. But she is content to just sit there and play. It's just what she is playing with that concerns me. This is where she gets into mischief. But how she goes from mischief to I wonder what it would taste like if I smear my hand with poo and rub it all over my face....I will never know!

Today when we got home from our homeschool co-op, and I put her down so she could grab a late nap. A couple of hours later, Michael heard her making noise so he went to say hello and take her out. This is what he walked into.

All this on her vintage vanity. The savage!

Ooooooh, how could you, Xixi?!

While my husband bathed her, I was dry-heaving in her room as I scrubbed everything down and prepared the playpen for the dumpster--it just wasn't worth scrubbing the crap off the fabric that she rubbed into.

Xixi being properly disinfected by her Daddy.

Now that she is clean, oops, my bad!
I will never eat my potty again. My potty is not a toy!
And there she is, munching on a piece of bread as if this wasn't the scene of a very stinky crime just a half hour earlier.

And the audacity to still be hungry for a snack!

The end.


  1. RickyG6:26 AM

    She's just starting to recycle.

  2. raquel9:15 AM

    mmmmmmmmmm...que deeeeeeeeeessssguuuuuusssssting! Ewwww XiXi!

  3. mrs. bear6:55 PM

    wow...you deserve an award.

  4. so many things ran thru my mind while reading this. 1) no no no no no! 2) she cleans up nice--what a face! 3) she will be so humiliated when she grows up and realizes her mama put her poo habits out on blast. hahahaha.

  5. I can see it being completely embarrassing for Xixi but this post is written with so much love! I probably would have fainted, hit my head and died though!!! lol


Break me off something.

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