Sweet Leaf

Driving around town tonight, running errands and disgusted by all the local traffic snaked through all the streets, I put the radio on scan to see if I could find something good to listen to besides the eternal booty-shaking-shorty-drop-it-to-the-ground-like-she-ain't-got-no-manners stuff.

I came across a very familiar riff on some classic rock station. Black Sabbath. Ohhh. Sweet Leaf. Ahhh. I may not look it, but I was a big Black Sabbath fan. Before Ozzy ate the head off bats and then proceeded to have a brain the size of a bat due to years of drug and alcohol abuse, he was off the chain. Many, many alternative rock bands you hear today have stolen riffs from Black Sabbath. Even Led Zeppelin stole riffs from Black Sabbath. I read that somewhere. If you ever hear Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Give it Away", then you know what I mean. Sweet Leaf riff...straight jack move.

I distinctly recall having intense guilt (or you could say conviction) when I listened to Black Sabbath. They were a very dark band, and their lyrics, even darker. I mean, at the time they were pretty dark but compared to some goth and death metal stuff that is out there today, they are pretty tame. It was their open references to the devil, lucifer, witches and black masses that gave me the heebie jeebies. But there was something hypnotic about the music that drew me to it. And that is what scared me! It was bad enough I was a heathen christian, drinking, partying and getting high every weekend unless I was visiting family and then I was required to go to church with mom on Sundays. There I was, going to hell in a hand basket and Black Sabbath was my soundtrack.

One day while worshipping at Tower Records, which was something my homie Power I did on a regular basis way back in the day before we were two old married ladies with chil'rens, I was browsing through cd's, waiting for something exciting to pop out at me. We would walk in that place and split up for hours, looking at magazines, books, listening to music, with our eyes peeled for cute boys. On some random visit, I decided I was going to buy Black Sabbath's We Sold Our Soul For Rock 'n Roll. I sat there wrestling with it, should I buy it? I could hear the angel on my shoulder (who sounded suspiciously like my mother) say it's evil! Evil! Don't buy it! Then the devil on my shoulder was saying, but it has Fairies Wear Boots on it! Sweet Leaf, you know how much you like Sweet Leaf! And the best ever, N.I.B!! You know you want it--you NEED this cd!

Have I mentioned that I have a very active imagination?

So as I reached over to grab the cd, I felt this tremor go through my hand. Almost like an electric shock, but it went through my whole hand and wrist. It was the craziest thing. In paranoid hysteria, I found Power and told her what happened. "I think this means I shouldn't buy this cd! Do you think that's what it means? Duuuude, I must be tripping! Maybe that was God's way of telling me to stay away from the cd?!" Um, yeh. We looked at each other with big eyes, not knowing if this was some sort of battle between good or evil or the fat joint we had smoked out in the parking lot before we came in. Hmmm.

Needless to say I did not buy the cd that day. I ended up with it somehow, but I can't remember how I got it. But I'm okay now. And I haven't seen the angel or devil on my shoulder since.

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