I took Cyan on a little birthday date Monday night. Just me and him. We ended up at Borders so we could hang out and look at some books that we have no intention of buying. So while he perused the Star Wars section, I picked up a book called Curly Girl, a book all about girls with curly hair and how to embrace it.
I've always had a life long battle with my hair and it's curls. It is too fine, too frizzy, too nappy, too flat, too puffy, too curly in some sections and too straight in others, or it's just not curly enough. It's like I am never satisfied.
I contemplated my hair over the years and one thing has been a constant: frizz. Frizz is always my enemy. So I have started this hair cycle that I've used for a few years now. When the weather is cool and I don't have to sweat...my hair is usually straight due to my beloved flat iron. Or it's wavy and loose, due to my beloved large barreled curling iron. For some reason, I feel prettier when it's smooth and shiny and laying flat. It's just better this way. I feel neater. More put together. More in control.
When its hot outside, I switch to curls because it just seems easier that way. The heat, the humidity, the sweat...it's gonna get nappy anyways so why fight it? The thing that bugs me about my curls is, I never know how it's going to turn out. It has a mind of it's own, it seems. Also, when you have grown up with curly hair, you have few styling options. I hate to have the same hair that I had say, during my high school graduation. Or my college graduation. Or my wedding. Ugh. A sister likes to have variation.
Believe me, I've had some miserable haircuts over the years. When I was in elementary school, my mom took me to get a blunt cut right at the shoulders. My head looked like a giant triangle. Then in junior high, I just decided to cut my almost waist length hair all off. Then for a couple of years I sported that poufy, aqua-net bouffant until it grew out. Hideous. I've had perms (to make it more curly) that have practically singed off my eyebrows. I used to dye it an assortment of colors, including the time I used this bleach to remove the color from my hair then I put a bright burgundy on top of it. I ended up looked like Raggedy Ann. One time I got a bob...and all my curls disappeared, but not in a good way. Another time I wanted some highlights to showcase my curls...all I got was a big blond strip above my forehead that looked like a banana strip. So embarrassing. I've had stylists cut so many layers into my curls that I looked almost balding. That resulted in me wearing my hair up in a clip for a few months. I even used to iron my hair with an actual iron. It's a wonder I still even have hair.
I've had people say to me, "I thought your hair was curly?" of "I thought your hair was straight?" And all I have to say is that I'm thankful I have hair that can easily go both ways. But not without some effort. I'm not one of those women who can air dry their hair and be on their way. If I did that, I'd look like I belonged on one of those flower-power VW bus vans, throwing up the peace sign and traveling to the next Grateful Dead show. Total frizzy, 'froey, mess.
The book was interesting because it challenged the self-loathing that many curly-haired girls face. The author encouraged the readers to love their hair, start a regimen to really encourage the curls to form and give yourself three weeks. Three weeks to challenge the conventional way of taking care of curly hair and let them form the way they are meant to be.
It's tough to give up control but summer is coming. A wild, curly Pearmama is coming to a town near you. It's cool though. In all my hairstyle evolutions, my man's favorite is basic and simple: curly. He always loves me with curly hair. I don't know what it is...maybe because it's natural or maybe because I look like a saucy little minx. Heh. Either way, it's good to know that your man is paying attention.