Thank you, Mickey and Wanda
The other night, in the middle of mama and daddy time, Maya woke up and kept pestering us with questions.
"Just go to sleep, Maya!"
Silence. For about thirty seconds.
"What are you doing?"
"Go to sleep!"
"I'm thirsty. Can you get me some water?"
"What are you doing? What is that noise? It sounds like sheeee sheeee sheeee sheeee!"
It was hilarious. Straight out of Forrest Gump.
Which got me thinking about what it's going to be like when I have a house full of teenagers that know what we are doing behind a locked door. It's not going to be that easy to shush them back to sleep. How am I going to show my face the next morning, you know?
We have this saying around our house, and it's hella funny. About eight years ago, a woman named Wanda commissioned Michael to do a portrait as a gift for her daughter. She was a tall, thin, outspoken woman from Louisiana, so she had this really cool Cajun accent. She would come over to our humble little home, stand with her hands on her hips and tell Michael just what kind of painting she wanted. She was really funny, always telling us stories about her just-married daughters. After Michael painted the portrait, she commissioned him to paint the nursery of her new grandchild.
One night, she was telling us what it was like to be an older, happy married couple and how she and her husband Mickey had to come up with ingenious schemes to get some alone time. When her daughters were old enough to date, they gave them the standard lecture about having boys over. I remember it clear as day. And she said this, with some serious sassiness.
"Ain't no one havin' sex in this house 'cept Mickey and Wanda!"
Omg. We about died laughing! It was the funniest thing ever. I tried to keep a straight face because she was totally serious but I couldn't help myself. So to this day we still follow that simple rule that Mickey and Wanda laid it down, with all dignity and seriousness.
What are we going to do? I asked Michael just last night. We are going to have to get busy at like, two in the morning! On the floor. And in total silence. Aaggghhh. How embarrassing!
And Michael just shrugged his shoulders. "Shoot! I don't care. Ain't no one havin' sex in this house 'cept Michael and Denise!"