"My shoe!"

It really sucks to slip and fall. And you know the old saying, the bigger they are the harder they fall?

It's true, dammit.

So this is the story. I was sweeping my front porch, minding my own business. I just got back from the last day of school and was really annoyed at the leaves and trash and dandelion fuzz (which looks suspiciously like dust bunnies) gathered on my front porch. One of my students gave me a beautiful little topiary, and I couldn't very well sit it down amongst the dandelion bunnies, now could I?

So I'm sweeping. Sweeping away. Talking on the cell phone to my mama. I'm wearing my slippery chanklas (that's what I get for paying $9.99 for them at Big Five as opposed to $2.50 at Old Navy) which I believe was the culprit. My porch has two steps and a brick encased planter on one side. Usually, I will perch myself on the ledge of it and sweep the corners. So I'm standing there on the ledge, when my chanklas slide out from under me. And I fell like a ton of bricks into that planter box.


It wasn't really painful and I didn't hurt myself or anything, but it did bruise my ego a bit because I landed with a hardy thud, with my fat ass right in the dirt. The cell phone went flying out of my hands and so did the broom. For once I didn't scream in distress because Michael had a client out in the garage and I didn't want this man that I did not know to see me like that. So I stifled my cry and I was giggling quietly and trying to figure out how I was going to get my butt out of that planter. I was so hoping I could get out of there before anyone could find me like that. But a couple of seconds later I see Michael's face.

"What in the world...?"
"I fell!"
"Are you okay?"

Then he grabbed my arm and pulled me out, efficiently scraping the heck out of my calf on the brick planter. I reached down to pick up my phone.

"Mija! What happened? Are you okay?" Mama didn't hang up because we can talk for free and not use up our minutes. WooHoo.

"I'm fine!"

Aside from ruining my favorite green sweater and scraping up my cankle, I'm cool. Michael said he heard the thud but was worried when he didn't hear me call out for him. Remember when you were a kid and you fell while doing a cartwheel or you ate it on your bike and you just popped right up?

It ain't like that once you start getting old.

Bummer. That was my humiliating moment for the day. But I'm sure that won't be the last time I hear about it. Michael loves to tease me about my clumsiness. He likes to call me Aunt Bunny...you know, Eddie Murphy's auntie from his Delirious skit that is always falling at the family cookouts.

"Lawd...Lawd Jesus, help me! My shoe!"

This has some f's and b's in it...just thought I should give you a heads up.


  1. Oh my, we have watched Delirious and Raw more times than I can count, and it is still just as funny every time!

  2. Anonymous7:22 AM

    OMG! I can't believe you fell D! It is so true. I fell one time and I swear I was laughing so hard at myself because it must of looked funny seeing a fat girl get up in a second just as fast as she fell. So embarrassing. I feel you my sista!


Break me off something.

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