In-N-Out vs. Fatburger

My Dad took Noah out to dinner the other night before their all-men's trip to Knotts Berry Farm (Magic Mountain was closed...and they suck) and he was given the choice of whatever he wanted to eat. And I know my son...it could have been pretty much anything as long as there was plenty of it. My Dad was in awe.

"He said he wanted Fatburger. Dude can eat! He ate a Kingburger, a Baby Fat and fat fries. And he ate it all!"

That isn't news to me.

My family loves them some Fatburger! Fatburger was a foreign concept to me, up until about twelve years ago. The I.E didn't have any Fatburgers way back in the day. Michael took me to one in L.A., right by USC. I suddenly remembered Ice Cube's, "It was a Good Day."

Today was like one of those fly dreams
Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams
No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the Fatburger
Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp
And it read Ice Cube's a pimp.

It had a really cool vibe. There were pictures of Ray Charles, James Brown, Miles Davis and Stevie Wonder on the walls. There was a jukebox that played really loud music. And the majority of the patrons were black. I figured it was hood-owned and operated, like the Magic Johnson Crenshaw 15 Theater. Then I discovered some of the franchise owners were Magic Johnson, E-40, Kanye West, Montel Williams and Queen Latifah and Pharrell will be opening up their Fatburgers' soon.


Fatburger is a big treat for our household. There are only two places we will eat burgers and that is Fatburger and In-n-Out. Which made me ponder the question...which one was better?

Fatburger vs. In-N-Out.


That is a tough one for me. Fatburgers offer a bit more variety, with their sandwiches, turkey burgers and veggie burgers. Ooooh oh oh and chili. Chili fries are a fat person's dream. You can also choose between fat fries or skinny fries. Guess which one I always order? FAT fries cuz I'm phat. Thought you knew. They also have three different burger sizes...the Baby Fat, the Fatburger and the Kingburger. I like how they yell the orders to the cooks, " GIMME THREEEEE FATS, FIVE BABY FATS AND A KIIIIIIIIING FAT!"


So it looks like the odds are in favor of Fatburger, right?

Slow your roll.

Their downside is that they are a bit pricey. I have six chil'rens, yo. That means we can't go to Fatburger without buying everyone their own fries, drinks, etc. Believe me, it's just easier that way. Less arguing and crying in the long run. And throughout the entire meal I am calculating in my head exactly how many groceries I could have bought with the money we spent in the joint. And eating chili fries is something I try not to do very often, maybe once a year, if that.

Oh. And it's kinda far from our house. We have to drive allllll the way up University, past the prostitutes and the transients and the transient prostitutes. By that time, we would die of hunger. I don't think Michael could make it that far without gnawing his arm off or something.

But then there is In-N-Out. You can't get much better than an animal-style cheeseburger. For all those poor souls who don't live in Cali, an animal-style means it's made with extra pickles and grilled onions. I don't know what it is that makes an In-n-Out burgers so dang satisfying. They could serve me a kite with grilled onions and it would probably be delicious.

There have been many a night when Michael has jumped in the van and made his way over to In-n-Out after the chil'rens were asleep. And we stay up watching a movie, being naughty and munching away, hoping the chil'rens wouldn't get a whiff of our burgers. Another perk, there are two In-N-Out within a five mile radius of our home. Yeh, we do some damage.

Michael used to work at an In-n-Out in L.A. when he was 17 and as young and tasty as the burgers. You would have thought he was in Vietnam veteran after all the stories he tells about his short stint of employment there.

"See, when I used to work at In-N-Out...."
"Back when I used to work at In-N-Out..."
"I remember those days, when I used to work at In-n-Out..."


So there you have it. It's impossible for me to like one more than the other. I mean, how could I? They are both delicious in their own right. All this writing and talking about In-n-Out made us start craving for one! So Michael called out, "I got five bucks! How much you got on it?" So I start digging for some change. Two bucks. "That's all you got, two bucks?" What can I say, I am a stay at home mom who doesn't get paid.

And now I am full.


  1. Coffee and a reference to transient prostitutes, what more could a girl want in the a.m?

  2. Dang girl, I'm over here trying to survive on celery sticks and carrots and your doing THIS!! That's dirty.

    I prefer In-n-Out personally but my kids are in the chicken strips phase, so I have to sneak out like y'all do. When the kids climb in the van the morning after, they start asking for papitas ketcha!

  3. i like in'n out much more than fat burger.

    there is a fat burger at the university village (university ave and iowa).

  4. Que Fat Burger or In-n-Out!?Tommy's!!!!!!!!!!All the way.
    The original in downtown Los.
    Where the peagons eat your left overs!


Break me off something.

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