I'm feeling a bit better. Better enough to eat a little something and yell at the chil'rens about how the house is going to hell in a handbasket. A dirty handbasket, mind you.
But my butt is now as tightly sealed as a genie in a bottle, thank you very much. I now have control over my outgoing messages, if you get what I'm sayin'. I am very happy about that.
So the other night when I was at Target, I began to realize that as parents we tend to put our lovely children before all of our wants and needs. Well, at least that is how it appears. When I am out shopping, I will buy them new socks, shoes and chonies way before I would buy them for myself and Michael...the testimony to that being our stretched out, desecrated and holey chonies.
Take soap, for instance.
Michael has this obsession with Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castile Soap. He loves that soap. Seriously. He got hooked on it a few years ago when I was really into natural products and I was concocting lotions and creams and shampoos and insect repellent and baby wipes and hemorrhoid cream in my kitchen like a mad scientist. I bought some in Almond to wash the babies in their bath and he liked it for his sensitive skin. But in peppermint. Apparently that is the only soap strong enough to cleanse him of his stinky man-ness.
But it's expensive.
Relatively speaking, it's not that pricey. For $14, I can get a 32 oz. bottle at Target. I've paid more for little tub of MAC eyeshadow--come on, ladies, we are all guilty of that one! I believe Trader Joe's is a bit less. But I guess I justify Dr. Bronner's being too expensive because I know I can pay less than five bucks for a billion bars of Lever 2000 and be done with it. When you are on a budget and you are buying Target brands for mostly everything, that $14 bottle of soap hurts.
But it makes the man so happy.
Personally, I try not to use the stuff. I've already weaned myself off of Dove soap (again, too pricey) which I used for years but I wasn't about to totally break down and use that nasty green soap (Irish Spring, I think it is) that my Mom used to buy. Made your skin all dry and squeaky. Ugh. But the Lever 2000, it is a middle ground that I am comfortable with.
If the Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap is around, I might use it for some spice of life. And if you've ever had a peppermint shower, then you know what I'm sayin'. When they say peppermint they are not kidding. First of all, it is strong. Michael laughed when I told him that it was slightly scary to scrub down the old lady parts with that stuff because it was so minty and strong. It was kinda like putting a peppermint candy...an altoid (the curiously strong mint), perhaps?... up in there. It was that minty.
So I stay away from Dr. Bronner unless I want to start off my day with a tingly, slightly burning, slightly alarming good morning from the old doctor.
So now I feel guilty. Now I have to go back and buy him his Dr. Bronner's soap. Apparently I can brush my teeth, scrub the floors, shampoo my hair and wash the dog with it. Who knew? Considering all that, $14 sounds like a serious bargain! Just don't waste your showering time reading the fanatical writing on the outside of the bottle...talkin' about ALL ONE! and Cleanliness is close to Godliness and all this weird stuff. For a while there, I was wondering if I was allowing some sort of Sparkly Clean Cult doctrine into my shower. You just never know, people. Apparently Dr. Bronner is just some crazy nut. A rich crazy nut who throws down with the soap-making but a crazy nut nonetheless.
Now I just rest in the knowledge that my man's pits are getting clean and beautified. And if I want the experience a Peppermint Shower, I know it is mine for the asking.
