Thursday, October 09, 2008
It was kinda happening...
Horror flicks. I don't watch 'em. Don't like 'em. Not even the hottest eye candy can make me want to sit down and watch blood, gore and torture. My mind can't escape to a happy place in this instance.
I am the biggest baby when it comes to horror flicks. My old heart can't take them anymore. Sure, I used to watch them when I was a kid. I remember A Nightmare on Elm Street...Halloween...Friday the 13th, all the oldies but goodies. I also remember being scared out of mind while everyone watched The Hills Have Eyes. Oh, and The Exorcist. Shiver. I don't think I have ever been able to sit down and watch that movie in it's entirety.
I guess my fear for all horror flicks started when I was about five or six years old, when my Dad thought it would be a good idea to scar his children for life and make them watch Night of the Living Dead. A film in black and white with practically no special effects and it was terrifying. That movie kept me from sleeping peacefully for months. Not to mention a huge fear of cemeteries. To this day when I drive past the cemetary on Palm, I feel a tiny bit of anxiety. Even though I know that nothing there can hurt me....childhood scars, ain't it somethin'.
They just don't make me feel good in my spirit. They grieve me. They make me feel sick for humanity. And they scare the living ish out of me. So the policy is...we don't watch horror flicks in our house. There will be no watching of The Grudge, Saw, Hostel or The Ring in my crib. Oh, no no no noooooo.
To me, scary movies are M. Night Shyamalan movies. Just the right amount of suspense, fantasy, no blood or gore, no one torturing another human being. But I can still be a little excited and squirm in my seat. Signs is one of my all-time favorite movies. I hear some of you laughing.
His movies suck. Those movies aren't even scary.
That may be true, and in the case of Lady in the Water, it was definitely true. But you have to realize they are scary to me cuz I don't watch all those other hard-core movies. My palate for horror flicks is pure, if you will. So when Michael rented The Happening, I didn't really want to see it. Not that I don't watch R rated movies...do ya'll think I'm that much of a holy roller? No. It's just that I've seen his other movies and they were just the right amount of scary. What would he put in there that pushed it to an R?
Ok, so I watched it. Of course, after all the chil'rens are in bed. With all the lights out. It starts going down right away, when homegirl stabs her own neck with her hair stick thingie. Even with that, Michael couldn't stay awake. So I was watching it essentially alone, in the dark. I was a little bit scuuuuuurrred. It's kinda freaky to watch people harm themelves. And that old lady in the end that bashes her own head against the glass....that was disturbing. Seriously.
That night, I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with the window wide open, like I usually do. All that freakin' wind. I felt kinda vulnerable. And my husband is a sadist and he loves to tease me.
Overall, it was an okay movie. Not as good as The Sixth Sense or Signs but not as cheesy as Lady in the Water. Just a little bit of terror to make things exciting. An old lady needs some excitement every now and then.
So alright sickos, what is your favorite horror movie?