Out of the blue last night, Noah asked me this question.

"Mom, what's a virgin?"

Sigh. Heavy, heavy sigh.

I almost opted to not answer and have his Dad explain it to him. Not because I was embarrassed but because I know the chil'rens. They can take a topic and run with it.


So I took a few moments to formulate my answer.

Ahem. A virgin is someone who has never had sex before.

His eyes widened. "Ok, now I get that part in Transformers."

Then I went on to explain how God wants a person to stay pure before they are married. Its just better that way, I reasoned.

He nodded with me. "Yeh, I don't want to sin against my own body."

I nodded emphatically.

Then I added, "You will be free of disease."

He threw his head back, "Yesssss. No herpes!"

Um, okaaaaay. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud because he was so relieved.

I continued, "You will preserve your mind and body for the person God wants you to marry. A special woman just for you."

"That's a good thing. I don't want to get my girlfriends' pregnant. Like Dad."

*cough cough*

Then I had to think on my feet.

"Yes. We all make mistakes. You see what a hard time Daddy has dealing with Mikey's mom. Its not fair to have a child that can't have both parents in his life. So...its just best to wait until you are in love and get married and then have a baby. So being a virgin is a good thing, Noah." I added, with emphasis.

I was seriously starting to break a sweat.

"Yeh. Plus I don't want to have sex and then have to raise a bastard."

I almost choked on my own saliva.


"What, mom?"

"Don't ever say that word again! Don't ever CALL someone that word either!! That is a bad word! Very inappropriate!"

Then he looked rather sheepish.

"Awright, mom. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll never call anyone that again!"

I started thinking about how he even knew what that word meant. The chil'rens have an ongoing list of words that are forbidden for them to say (d*ck and sonofab!tch being the most recent). Once they asked me if it was ok to say the word bastard and I told them NO and explained exactly what it meant.

So he must have put two and two together.

These chil'rens are going to be the death of me!


  1. I love his hair style!!!

  2. You're such a good momma. And he's beautiful inside and out.

  3. Wow!...I give you many PROPS! I wouldn't even know how to react if my girls came at me like that.

  4. Oh, thanks for the laugh, I really needed it! Your kids are so rad.

  5. Desert Chicano, where've you been, homie?

  6. You crack me up! My five year old just found out what a vagina is. I'm just waiting for her to ask more questions about it in her loudest voice when we're at church or something.

  7. Oh dear, I nearly shot coffee out my nose from laughing so hard. Must not read your posts while drinking. Tee hee.

  8. hehe w
    Well I think it's so cool that you tell them the truth-better they hear it from you than some weirded out version (or perversion) from a stranger!
    And by the way-dang, that was funny reading!


Break me off something.

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