It used to be much easier to answer my son's questions about life, women and sex. I guess in my mind, we were years away from the realities of it all. Our conversations were in theory.
That is no longer the case.
I've now got two teenage boys in my house. I also have a preteen who is full of stank attitude and he thinks he knows everything. Their voices are growing into a deep bass, their feet have grown to yeti size and they're now taller than me. They beat their chests and ooze testosterone. My InStyle magazines have disappeared on several occasions. Every other girl they see is "hot"--especially Jessica Alba and Megan Fox (according to the YouTube history). They are not shy about vocalizing their maleness.
When I am confronted with their hairy armpits, their widening chests and the fuzz on their upper lip, I realize that the physical changes we once talked about are now manifesting themselves. That sex talk we had a few years ago? It needs to be revised. Having the sex talk with an 8 year old, a 10 year old and an 11 year old is much much different than having the sex talk with an 11 year old, 13 year old and a 14 year old. I have to add my youngest boy Cyan into the equation, since he'll turn 10 in April. He hasn't been enlightened like his older brothers were.
You can see it on their faces. They know exactly what I'm talking about. And this creeps me out. These days, I'm referring them to their father more and more. It's just too much for my delicate feminine sensibilities. I don't want to think about my sons having urges. Or spending long periods of time (wink wink) in the bathroom with the door locked.
When I saw the following video, I knew I would have to find a way to emulate this mother. She had that clinical, informative tone to her voice. She was calm, sympathetic and she didn't make her son feel like a cochino, as I probably would have done.
I've bookmarked this video, for future reference. But I can't even front--if I ever walked into this scenario I would pray to God in Heaven that a giant hole open up in the ground and I would gladly jump right in. Gladly.